Again an interesting if flawed viewpoint no doubt based on your own experience and british TV. One thing I learned about kids is that none of them has read the book about how they should behave and that no parents treat the kids in the same way.
All of my children have been brought up with a strong sense of family discipline (all 4 of them 3 british one thai/british)
The main difference is that thai kids brought up in the village tend to be brought up by the whole family including the grand parents and other siblings thus instilling a more open attitude to people and a true sense of dependence. This is similar to the UK in the 30's 40's and 50's.
That said there are an equal number of little thugs in both societies.
The other main difference is that the authorities in thailand don't mess with parental rights and the nambi pampy do gooders have not yet messed with the old fashioned clip round the ear, which is administered frequently in my wifes village and as required in our own family.
Chinese culture also respects filial piety as you can read here, http://www.chinapage.com/confucius/xiaojing-be.html Once this family link is broken, as is has already in the West, then I think society itself suffers.
You write eloquently and I am sorry that you cannot write in a more constructive way. Saying that incest/paedohilia and child exploitation is rampant is not reality. It may be reality as you see it, but I have never experienced or seen anything like what you describe. My wife does tell me the bad side of Thai life (of that you can be sure), but this site is not meant to point out all the bad sides, nor does it just focus on all the positives. If you look at the comments I have added to my articles you will see that other points of view are presented on the site,
Thank you so much for your reasuurance that incest/paedohilia and child exploitation (YOUR WORDS) are none existance in Thailand. My wife has never seen such stories in the Thai media or through the village grapevine. She never had to go to work as a child to carry out her duty of providing financial support for her demanding mother. Next time she has a nightmare about village life as SHE sees it or a sleepless night for worrying about her younger siblings back in the village, I will tell her she’s “ding dong” because thaifarang knows everything there is to know about Thailand and he is right.
I am sorry to hear about the traumas your wife has had, and I am in no way trying to say that life in a Thai village is something like blissful living. It is undoubtedly hard in many ways, and if you would like to describe some of these aspects I would be happy to post in on the site. Your initial post, however, was quite extreme. You accused me of portraying a false picture while you claimed that reality was that kids were being tied up like prisoners, beaten black and blue and suffering incestuous attacks. You claimed that this was how life in a village was. I am sorry but i do not share your views. My wife grew up in a village and has not experienced such things - neither have many other Thai-farang couples I have spoken with. I did not want to appear to be rejecting your wife's experiences and what she has heard. But as you say the site is not meant to be another site condemning Thailand. there are many other sites that do that. Your story may be reality for some, but evidently not for all.
Your views seem very anti western, As murder in my country of England is 1000% less then in Thailand, maybe the over indulged child raising technique isnt so bad after all.
Im sure you could find an equally useless family in Thailand to make a TV programme on bad parenting.
How about a Thai family that gets its kids to go begging around the tourist bars, ive never heard of a white English family do anything like this.
I have not lived in Thailand, but know of my Thai wife's family and all the others in her village. I base my views on these experiences and other studies of Thai culture.
I must disagree that western children feel no obligation to take care of their parents. I dont have to take care of my parents because they saved up for a pension and are able to take care of themselves. If they were needy for anything I would be immediately there to help them. Thai families are too willing to spend money on gold or household appliances to gain 'face' in the village rather than saving. Too many are also willing to encourage their daughters to go on the game to compensate.
This recount is highly accurate with my experiences of Thai culture. My girlfriend was raised as a first generation American, educated here, and has intelligently rejected Western ultra-egoism. She was not raised by a village, nor was she limited to class differences since she was once rich and is now poor. I'd also like to add that the majority of these comments are Westerners trying to defend why their culture dogmatically relies on excessive egoism.
14 Comments:
Hejsan
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Again an interesting if flawed viewpoint no doubt based on your own experience and british TV. One thing I learned about kids is that none of them has read the book about how they should behave and that no parents treat the kids in the same way.
All of my children have been brought up with a strong sense of family discipline (all 4 of them 3 british one thai/british)
The main difference is that thai kids brought up in the village tend to be brought up by the whole family including the grand parents and other siblings thus instilling a more open attitude to people and a true sense of dependence. This is similar to the UK in the 30's 40's and 50's.
That said there are an equal number of little thugs in both societies.
The other main difference is that the authorities in thailand don't mess with parental rights and the nambi pampy do gooders have not yet messed with the old fashioned clip round the ear, which is administered frequently in my wifes village and as required in our own family.
Chinese culture also respects filial piety as you can read here, http://www.chinapage.com/confucius/xiaojing-be.html
Once this family link is broken, as is has already in the West, then I think society itself suffers.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
I am somewot surprised that you chose to remove my post in response to you article on children.
I see now that you are choosing to only show a one – sided view of Thailand and its everyday life, your view!
The picture you paint of Thailand life, although the ideal, is false for the majority.
You give the impression you and your Wife are very close, if so, why is she not telling you how it really is.
Thank God me and my Wife can share a conversation about the beautiful, ugly, friendly and hostile Thailand known by all who choose open their eyes.
Good luck with this site but I would advice all readers to take it with a pinch of salt.
Dear anonymous,
You write eloquently and I am sorry that you cannot write in a more constructive way. Saying that incest/paedohilia and child exploitation is rampant is not reality. It may be reality as you see it, but I have never experienced or seen anything like what you describe.
My wife does tell me the bad side of Thai life (of that you can be sure), but this site is not meant to point out all the bad sides, nor does it just focus on all the positives. If you look at the comments I have added to my articles you will see that other points of view are presented on the site,
Thank you so much for your reasuurance that incest/paedohilia and child exploitation (YOUR WORDS) are none existance in Thailand. My wife has never seen such stories in the Thai media or through the village grapevine. She never had to go to work as a child to carry out her duty of providing financial support for her demanding mother. Next time she has a nightmare about village life as SHE sees it or a sleepless night for worrying about her younger siblings back in the village, I will tell her she’s “ding dong” because thaifarang knows everything there is to know about Thailand and he is right.
Hi again anonymous,
I am sorry to hear about the traumas your wife has had, and I am in no way trying to say that life in a Thai village is something like blissful living. It is undoubtedly hard in many ways, and if you would like to describe some of these aspects I would be happy to post in on the site.
Your initial post, however, was quite extreme. You accused me of portraying a false picture while you claimed that reality was that kids were being tied up like prisoners, beaten black and blue and suffering incestuous attacks. You claimed that this was how life in a village was. I am sorry but i do not share your views. My wife grew up in a village and has not experienced such things - neither have many other Thai-farang couples I have spoken with. I did not want to appear to be rejecting your wife's experiences and what she has heard. But as you say the site is not meant to be another site condemning Thailand. there are many other sites that do that. Your story may be reality for some, but evidently not for all.
Your views seem very anti western, As murder in my country of England is 1000% less then in Thailand, maybe the over indulged child raising technique isnt so bad after all.
Im sure you could find an equally useless family in Thailand to make a TV programme on bad parenting.
How about a Thai family that gets its kids to go begging around the tourist bars, ive never heard of a white English family do anything like this.
Thaifarang, exactly how long have you spent in Thailand ? I'd be interested to know the level of experience you have of Thai life.
Regards
I have not lived in Thailand, but know of my Thai wife's family and all the others in her village. I base my views on these experiences and other studies of Thai culture.
I must disagree that western children feel no obligation to take care of their parents. I dont have to take care of my parents because they saved up for a pension and are able to take care of themselves. If they were needy for anything I would be immediately there to help them. Thai families are too willing to spend money on gold or household appliances to gain 'face' in the village rather than saving. Too many are also willing to encourage their daughters to go on the game to compensate.
This recount is highly accurate with my experiences of Thai culture. My girlfriend was raised as a first generation American, educated here, and has intelligently rejected Western ultra-egoism. She was not raised by a village, nor was she limited to class differences since she was once rich and is now poor. I'd also like to add that the majority of these comments are Westerners trying to defend why their culture dogmatically relies on excessive egoism.
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